YOU ARE Important

Do you equate importance with money and fame? Do you measure your self-worth based on your physical appearance?

If so, you need to dig much deeper to find your true value. True value comes from your heart, soul, mind—spirit. You are a powerful, sentient being who rises above what this world uses as a measuring stick for success and importance.

What makes YOU important? First, know that you were the moment you were given life. You are unique, no one talks like you, looks like you, thinks like you. And, most certainly, no one can live your life for you. That fact alone makes you important.

Repeat this truth and make it your heartfelt belief—YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND.

Think about that for a moment. One of a kind artifacts are rare, but they are also priceless. There isn’t a monetary value you can attach to them. How much more so is this true when it comes to you—a living being!

Why is it so often that as humans we base level of importance on financial success? Maybe it’s because we’ve been hurt, or we’re low. We can use money, or success, to hide behind, to derive comfort from. If we’re absorbed with chasing a buck, there isn’t time to reflect and ‘be.’

Think of Linus (from Charlie Brown) walking around with his blanket all the time. Metaphorically, is that how you picture yourself when it comes to your thoughts on self-worth? Do you shrink back and find ‘escape’ through distorted perceptions your importance? Do you medicate with alcohol or drugs to avoid true reflection? 

Just remember this: If all you had was yourself in this world, you would still be important!

How Can I?

Along the way we meet many friends that teach us a great deal.  I often re-remember a teaching of my good friend and life/career coach, Brian.  I remember one occasion I said to him about an upcoming event, “I can’t come.”  He said back to me, “If you want to, why not ask, how can I?” 

Quite often we will make a blanket statement about our situation, feelings, etc. to ourselves and others.  With a statement, our minds are closed with no room for other possibilities.   It is a fact, a done deal, so-to-speak.  But what if there is something we truly want, should we give up on it so quickly?

As in the above example, we want to go and have fun with a group of friends and our responsibilities on the surface, seem to be stopping us.  Asking the question, “How can I?” opens up the possibilities.  Our brain has been given a task, a problem to solve.  It is very good at it!  Suddenly, it gives us all kinds of ideas on how to make something happen.

In the context of grieving over a loss in our life, we have talked in detail about honoring the grieving process.  With understanding, compassion, self-love, and gently allowing ourselves to experience the steps we need to go through.  All of this is very important, with each person taking the time they need.  Eventually, we begin to notice that we no longer want to feel this way.  We recognize that this event can no longer be a determining factor of our happiness.  We are ready to move forward. 

For a long time we may even say, if only to ourselves, “I can’t let that go!”  Then one day, when we are ready, we will ask ourselves “How can I?”  Look out because when we ask this question, our whole life begins to change!  Our mind responds with ideas, people around us speak randomly about tools and tips; teachers, books, radio, television, internet articles and more come into our awareness with great speed and ease!

The question “How can I?” can be applied to every aspect of our life.  The question has the power to orchestrate the world around us, bringing us the people and resources we need to reach our goal.  It is as if the people and things around us are puppets on a string, waiting to come into our path at just the right moment.

All we did is change our mind, moving from a closed stand on the subject, to being open to possibilities; possibilities for growth, self-discovery and healing on all levels.  By opening to these new ways, we begin to lovingly take back our power; the power to create our life with more joy than we could have imagined.

When we recognize that this has happened many times in our life already and will continue to happen with grace and ease, our heart overflows with gratitude for the masterpiece that is our life!

~ Sherry Buikema

E+R=O

On our path we encounter many teachers by way of friends, family and authors.  Through books, CDs, DVDs and seminars we can learn many helpful things.

One of the many teachers that have impacted us is Jack Canfield, co-creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul.  My husband and I have really benefited from his audios on personal growth.  We even went to one of his seminars in Toronto. 

Although we learned many things from Jack, there is one tool he shared that impressed upon me the power we have to make a choice. This tool is in the form of an equation, E+R=O.

E stands for Event – This could be anything from a loss, as we have been discussing, to an everyday event we may encounter.

  To name a few examples—someone cuts you off in traffic, someone says something hurtful, a family member does something inconsiderate, something breaks down and the list goes on.

R stands for Response -- Typically, when these things happen, we React to them, but what if we were to choose a response instead?

O stands for Outcome – Our responses will in turn bring us an outcome.

So here you have it:

E                      +                      R                     =                      O

Event               +                     Response         =                     Outcome

Another way to look at this equation is to ask “How would I like things to turn out?” By thinking of our “desired outcome” first, we can then choose an appropriate response. 

Basically, we are changing the equation, (like we used to do in math) to:

Event               -                       Outcome         =                      Response

If we simply react, we may end up further away from our desired outcome.  By giving conscious thought to the outcome we would like to see, we can choose the response that is more apt to get us there.

In this way, we are not allowing the event to evoke a reaction.  We are taking back our power, the power to choose!

~ Sherry Buikema