We ARE More Than Enough

This world has become all about what we do. It is one of the first questions people ask when they meet each other. However, does what you do really say anything about you? Or is what you are of more importance?

Let me explain. I’ve had the honor and privilege to learn and awaken through observations of nature recently. A robin decided to build her nest on my fence, and as I watched her come back with strands of grass and beaks full of mud, I came to realize a few things. I love her. I value her. I am somewhat attached to her. Why? Was it something she did? Not really. She was just BEing.

So, why is it when it comes to other people and ourselves, we rush around trying to prove ourselves, striving to acquire this or that to define our existence, to mark our success? Are we not even more precious than the robin nesting on my fence—or at least equally so?

We think of people whom we love and what comes to mind? Maybe it is what they do that draws us close to them. After all, actions speak louder than words. But what is louder than actions? It would be what spurs actions. This is the place where motivation is born. This is where I AM lives. It is what people are, the I AMs, which dictate actions.

Example. Your spouse makes you dinner on a night you are exhausted. Is it the act that endears them to you or is it the motivation behind the action? You might respond with the act. However, think deeper. It was the thought, them BEing who they are, that resulted in the action. They considered your needs and best interests.

With the robin you might argue I became attached because she built a nest on my fence. But that would be the action. The thought, the essence of who she is endears her to me. She is peaceful. She chose a spot sheltered by a small tree branch and a fence post. She works hard, but not tirelessly. Her motivation is not to have the best nest in the world, to show off to visitors; it is to have a safe place to lay her eggs and have her babies. For this, she is proud of who she is and what she has accomplished. Every day she sings from the top of my chimney. I swear she is proclaiming her love for the world and her part in it. See what she is, the I AM, is caring, loving, and joyful. These are the qualities that draw me to love her.

Most of us have heard the expression; it’s the thought that counts. And how true. Without the thought, we would have nothing. We wouldn’t have the warm embrace of a loved one or feel their tender kiss and touch. We wouldn’t be inspired, we wouldn’t make our house a home, and on the list goes without end. So the next time you start defining yourself by what you do, by what you’ve done, or by what you’ve accomplished, dig deeper. Celebrate the I AM essence of your very BEing.

CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

www.carolynarnold.net

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Rising Above Heartbreaking Change

Remember your divine "spark" no matter how low you may become.
Use that spark to ignite a fire.

Life changes. It is a fact of life. What was yesterday is not today, what is today is not tomorrow. It is easy to get caught up in these circumstances and situations, to allow them to define us, to give them our power. However, we are infinite beings capable of anything and as such do you not trust your ability to overcome, to supersede, that which you might first conclude as adversity or an obstacle? Instead, as awakened beings, we realize that these changes in life are actually guiding beacons to realign us on our path. If we could not endure a hardship in this life, we would not meet with it. Trust that you have the “toolbox” to make it through or that teachers and “earth angels” will appear in your life. I’ll give you a life-changing event in my life as an example.

Family meant everything to me. To ever think that I would be excommunicated pained me on a very deep level. I swore that I’d never do anything to meet such disapproval from my parents and two of my sisters (my third sister, Sherry, will always accept me for who I am). The thought of this situation ever happening to me hurt too much to consider. How could I hurt them like that and in turn cause such pain for myself? And trust me when it happened, I went through a period of intense heartbreak. My body mirrored this in physical ailments that had me taking different medical tests. The results from these showed that I was perfectly healthy, but that it was stress gnawing on my body. I was so low that I was suicidal. My co-workers at the time never saw it. My husband could not believe what he was hearing when I had told him. Friends who I've told since couldn't believe it. And this is my first time putting it out there in a public forum. However, I want you to know just how low I was.

I had turned to alcohol to soothe my broken heart, but as you know it only makes such things worse. The turning point was when I had quite a few whiskeys and pops. There’s no other way to say it; I was drunk. I fell to my knees and was crying and screaming, “How can they do this to me?” It was at this low point, in the middle of this “tirade”, all right, breakdown, that a spark flashed in me. A voice in my head said, who are they to have this power over me? It was from this darkness, from this very low point (a pit), I realized no one should wield such power over me. I also saw that I was giving them this power and it was time to stop this allowance. This was the turning point on my healing journey. It was not long later that I had the divine inspiration to start this blog. (And, yes, I do believe it was divine. If I can help even one person see the spark they have inside, the power they possess, the beauty they are, then sharing my story and my journey was well worth it.)

When I shared my story about how I “lost” my parents and two of my sisters, I’d meet with compassion. People expressed such things as, I couldn’t never survive that, or I could never treat my children this way. And, who knows, for them, maybe they would not survive such an ordeal? But here’s the thing, if something’s happened in your life, whether it be a direct choice you made or one made by someone else, you have the power and the strength within to deal with it. You do. Trust. Believe.

See I never would have thought I had the strength to deal with this situation. However, it has been two years, and I am a stronger person than I was before—or at least I recognize the strength that was always there. Teachers who crossed my path, such as Jack Canfield, have helped me to realize that to move forward I had to assume 100% responsibility for my life. At first this was hard to accept. After all, look my family did to me. They stopped talking to me because I did not want to worship God the way they did anymore. But it was time to own up to my choices in life. I knew beforehand that by deciding to go on a different path in life, they would react this way, yet I still made the choice. Was it because I was mean or unthoughtful? There were times I carried the guilt—again that is one of the emotions that needs to be purged on the journey to awakening. My motivations were not to hurt anyone. In fact, I still love my family dearly and send them love, light, and forgiveness. But realizing that I had taken back control of my life, by living it the way I want, in following my purpose, guilt, anger, regret, indecision, heartbreak, all of these emotions melted away. In its place were love and forgiveness—for them and myself.

Be blessed and keep shining the light that only you are meant to shine.

Carolyn Arnold

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

www.carolynarnold.net

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Happiness is a Choice, Not a By-product

We’ve discussed this topic on this blog before, but it’s one that I’ve been inspired to write about again. It’s so common for people to assign things, people, and circumstances as the determining factor in their happiness. They think that once this or that happens, they’ll be happy. They believe that their happiness, confidence, and life’s purpose hinges on other people’s opinions or feelings. They allow themselves to get discouraged by other people’s responses, but remember YOU ARE COMPLETE!

The only one who can determine your happiness is yourself—no one else. You do not require someone else’s approval for the choices you make. Your life purpose is a calling made to you alone and you’re the only one capable of pulling it off.

Can you imagine if a doctor who treated a loved one was discouraged by family members or friends? Maybe they would have given up because of all the long hours involved in receiving their education. What if they decided it wasn’t worth it, because of other people’s opinion, and got a job at a department store? Maybe your loved one never would have found the same treatment with someone else.

Can you imagine if artists never painted? Writers never wrote? Singers never sang? And the list goes on. The world would be a very dull place. Not to mention one that was crippled and didn’t function properly.

Think too of those who were pioneers in their field. The Wright brothers who invented the airplane. The world at that time probably thought they were crazy. What about Graham Bell who invented the phone? Or Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb? What if the Internet was never invented?

Are you getting the point? You are vital to this world. Your life purpose was gifted to YOU for YOU to share with others. Please, choose happiness—it only belongs to you—and live your purpose.

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

www.carolynarnold.net

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Letting People In

We’ve all heard it said many times—successful people have a network to support them. Do you believe that? It’s quite possible your ego responds with “I don’t need anyone.” But the truth is we all need help from others at times. There’s no way around this. In fact, for us to grow as individuals, it is necessary that we open up to other people.

There could be many reasons why we don’t let other people assist us, but I will discuss two--ego and vulnerability. 

If it's a matter of ego, we feel that we can figure everything out on our own. Even if you’ve never done anything before, it’s all right, you have it covered. You don’t need anyone. After all, you’re a powerful being and there shouldn’t be a need for other people—right? Wrong. Dead wrong.

Another thing that could be preventing us from seeking advice could be our vulnerability. It may still be entrenched in us that by asking for help, we are in some way exposing a weakness. In addition, we could feel that if we asked and were told no, we’d take it personally and be hurt by it. In this case, remember there is no such thing as rejection. Maybe you’re thinking yeah right but it’s true. If you ask someone for something and they say no, are you any further behind? You’re in the same spot—not better, but not worse either.

I’ve found on my personal journey that as I’ve come to fully accept who I am, I no longer fear asking for help. I welcome more people into my life than ever before. As a result, I’m a happier and more fulfilled person. Due to opening up, inspired thoughts have come to fruition that I alone never would have been able to accomplish as I didn’t have the personal know how. My Book of the Month Club is a good example of this. 

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

www.carolynarnold.net

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Trust the Universe

Place your order with the Universe and TRUST you will receive.

Maybe that sounds simple? You’re hyped up on all that you’ve learned about the Law of Attraction—how everything you want is at the tip of your fingers if only you want it and feel it strongly enough. However, when time passes and you’ve been saying your affirmations, taking time to BE, and well, the results don’t seem to be happening fast enough, the trust factor in the Universe may become a little more difficult. If you’re finding this to be the case for you, don’t worry you’re not alone. I’ve gone through the same experience and I’m sure most people have.

There are a few things to remember, though. One, you will be provided exactly what you need when you need it. This isn’t always the same as when you think you need it. Second, you may have a chance to examine what you really want. It’s possible your desires have changed. Third, the Universal Law is always working.

Have you heard of the man who stumbled upon a large gold mine? In the book, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill he shares the real life story off R.U. Darby. He set out west with the full purpose of striking it rich. It turns out, he did find gold. He was able to obtain investors and got the necessary equipment to mine the gold. He made back all the expenses and more. Things were going great—until there was no more gold. Eventually, he gave up. He sold the machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars and went back home.

This junk man called in a mining engineer for his expertise. This professional was able to advise based upon fault lines and predicted that if they started digging in a specific place, they would strike gold. But it’s what happens next that provides a solid lesson for all of us. The location where they found the gold was only three feet away from where Darby had stopped digging! The junk man became a multimillionaire.

The lessons? While there may be many in this account, I take out two things. 1) Seek advice and guidance from those who have both the experience and knowledge, and 2) persevere.

Maybe your goals involve something that seems out of reach to you. What are you doing about it? Are you just sitting back and waiting or are you actively following inspired action? Do you avail yourself of those around you who could help you? You could fear rejection, but remember rejection is a myth—nothing more. You can only gain by asking for someone’s help. If they say no, you are no further behind. Are you requesting that the right people come into your life? It’s also possible they are already in place and you had no idea. Open your eyes and trust your heart, trust the Universe.

The second lesson is all about persevering. If we have goals and desires we don’t give up. I’ve heard it said many times in my journey that so many give up when the Universe was just about to deliver their desires. In effect, these people were three feet from gold! Expand on this. If you had a crystal ball and could see the future, it’s quite possible the fulfillment of all your dreams is right around the corner. Are you going to stop trusting in the Universe because you can’t make it a while longer? If you are willing to stop, it doesn’t mean you don’t truly want what you’re after. You could be discouraged, but as noted earlier in this article, it’s also a good time to reassess what you want. When you know that you want something, with every fiber of your being, you won’t let anything stop you for working toward it.*

Lisa Nichols put it a good way in a recent webinar. I don’t recall the exact wording, but I derived the point.

Think of yourself as being in a restaurant with friends. You place your order and then what do you do? Do you spend the next while taking about your upcoming meal repeatedly, as if worried that it won’t show up? Do you think that when your meal comes, instead of it being the steak you ordered, it’s going to be fish?

Nonsense. You expect to receive the meal you ordered. You spend the time, waiting, enjoying a nice glass of wine and friendly conversation.

The Universe is like that waiter. Give it your order and then sit back (enjoy the wine) and wait for it.

I share this analogy because I’ve pulled on it a few times since I heard her say it. It gives a clear image of how the Law of Attraction works. In expanding on the thought, when it comes to your Universal wish list, the waiting for it can also mean inspirational ideas and actions you need to take. (Truly, this subject matter could be expanded on in many posts. Simply look at all the books on the subject.)

With all of this said, there are still times that negative thinking can creep in—how do you handle it? Do you try to quickly turning it around? In my next article, I’ll share with you why this is a dangerous thing.

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

www.carolynarnold.net

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*If you're looking for a good movie that shows how both BEing, having fun, and being determined are key ingredients for success, I recommend Million Dollar Arm.

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Detachment -- The Key to Happiness and Abundance

As human beings we often measure our success by material possessions, relationships, or our reputation. If we're not careful we can stake so much importance on these areas that we lose sight of who we really are--a great and powerful infinite being.

We begin to allow our self-worth, the definition of self, to become contingent upon external factors. By doing so, we're missing out on the real key to both happiness and abundance.  See our happiness depends on one thing--us. It is up to us to choose this state of existence for ourselves; it is not hinged upon this or that, or until, as if some fabricated future holds the secret. No, our happiness and abundance depends on detachment.

To detach ourselves, this simply means that we allow energy to flow naturally and freely. We don't fight what is, we don't try to change things outside of our control. Detachment means that while may enjoy nice things, our world wouldn't crash to end if they were taken away from us. We can become attached to stuff, other people and their opinions, to the past, to form, to ideas and being right, to money, and to winning.

When it comes to materialistic things, if we are detached, we realize that they will be ours for a time and then pass on to the next person to enjoy. We realize that everything we are given is here for a limited time.

Wayne W. Dyer put it simply in his book, You'll See It When You Believe It, said:

"If you wonder about the difference between attachment and enjoyment, ask yourself how you would react if suddenly an object you value was gone--stolen, broken, lost, or whatever. Would you be distorted with anger and worry? Would you become immobilized and unable to function effectively with yourself and your loved ones? This is attachment."

Being detached in our relationships, we value the differences that exist between us and the other person. We don't try to change, or possess, them.

It's also possible that we may allow other people, and their opinions of us, to shape who we are and influence the choices we make. We might hold back from living our true purpose if we allow ourselves to become attached to their mindset. For example, if you're in the arts, and addicted (attached) to feedback, you might become discouraged by negative or hurtful comments. This serves no purpose other than to interrupt the energy flow. Living in a state of detachment is much the same as surrender. We let the external wash over of us. We don't soak it in.

By focusing on being ourselves, we let the energy flow, and the more freely it does, we will not only experience more happiness, but we will attract abundance.

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

www.carolynarnold.net

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For an in-depth discussion on this topic, I recommend Wayne W. Dyer's book, You'll See It When You Believe It.

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Why Looking Back is a Good Thing

Even out of the storm, comes the rainbow.

On our life journey, we’re often so focused on the future that there are two elements of time that may be lost if we’re not careful. We all know the importance of NOW—this exact moment where you find yourself. If are too preoccupied with what we want to happen in the future or what has happened to us in the past, we sacrifice the present.  Did you catch that—“the present”—the NOW is a gift. Those of us who recognize this benefit greatly. Still, there is a place where the past fits in.

We can learn from our past choices, this is true. We can grow from our past choices, true again. However, what about looking back for the sole purpose of realizing how far you’ve come? There are pivotal moments in our life when we need to be still and pat ourselves on the back for the things we’ve worked through and overcome. These can be emotional, physical, or professional.

So often, we tend to focus on the choices we’ve labeled as being the wrong ones, on what we perceive as our failures. Instead, look back to celebrate your growth!

This is where a journal comes in really handy. Even a video diary would be quite useful. I haven’t tried the later but consider it a new avenue I may try.

When I think about my journey in the last couple of years, how far I’ve come, I’m blown away. See, this post was inspired by following a nudge from my soul to watch a video I had of myself. It was a recording of a TV interview I did and it’s been on my shelf for over a year. I watched it for the first time today. Wow! That is all I can say. I was in literal tears, blown away by how far I’ve come. During the time period that it was filmed, I was at the height of dealing with personal issues. Emotionally, I was an utter mess. Yet, I composed myself and conducted the interview professionally.

I’ve since grown more conscious to realize that form is not the be all and end all. I witnessed my soul give that interview and it was a beautiful sight. I recognized how much I have grown both emotionally, physically, and professionally since then! I take the time to BE with my soul, I exercise regularly and am on the path to regaining my trim form, and I am a full-time author!

I must say that this look into the past proved beneficial for me. I inspired myself and fanned the flame of passion. I also appreciate how everything happens for a reason and that it’s to serve in the next leg of our journey.

I’ve also observed how with the new path my life has taken, I am a happier BEing. I no longer retort with sarcastic remarks; for the most part they are not even a flicker in my mind to silence. I accept and love other people for who they are—great infinite beings like myself. I listen when people talk. I care about their lives. When my husband and I go out, even if it’s for groceries, we are never by ourselves. People approach us all the time now. Our energy communicates openness. We are richer as a result.

Why not take some time to consider your past and how far you’ve come on your journey. I assure you that you’ll be giving yourself a hug and a pat on the back.

Keep shining!

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

www.carolynarnold.net

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When the Time is Right for You

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Throughout your self-discovery journey you'll run into many teachers along the way. You'll find that they show up at the time meant for you. See, the Universe has answered your call and provided your answers. From there it is up to you to follow your promptings. Are you going to attend that webinar, buy that book, download that audio? 

Only your soul can decide but in my path I've learned one thing to always remain true—listen to the whispers of your soul because they are there for a reason. Those whispers, no matter how faint, is your Expanded Self (your soul or whatever you prefer to call your greater consciousness) leading you to the answers you seek to reach your goals and intentions.

So let's say that you made the commitment and you've purchased or downloaded all of the information calling your name. The intensity of what you're learning can feel both exhilarating and overwhelming. I know that I love the light that comes with meditation, the peering into my Expanded Self. It is magical and a place of such abundance. There is one thing that can hinder our ability to enjoy it as much as we'd like though. 

We have responsibilities—the day job, family obligations, and the list goes on. It's possible to start feeling loaded down by enlightenment when we are always focusing on what we'd rather be doing.  But keep this in mind, you are exactly where you need to be at this point in time. Also know that you will take in and learn what is crucial to you at the precise moment it would benefit you the most so there is no reason to sink into a defeatist attitude or oppression.

If you're sitting down to read or meditate and your soul is pulling you in numerous directions at once, it can be hard to decide where to start. Look within for the answer. Another trick is to access your inner guidance system by asking what is in your highest good at this moment.*

Needless to say, if your soul is directing you and you follow, you can't go wrong. Just remember everything in life is one step at a time. Allow and surrender to the truth that everything will happen when the time is right for you.

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is the author of several published novels, including her best-selling Madison Knight series. Her love for writing dates back to her teen years, but it was only in recent years that she was reunited with this love to pursue it with career passion.

Her writing has been compared to New York Times Bestsellers such as JD Robb, Mary Higgins Clark, Sue Grafton, Michael Connelly, Tess Gerritsen, and more. She is a member of Crime Writers of Canada and lives with her husband, and two beagles in a city near Toronto.

www.carolynarnold.net
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*For further detail about Accessing Your Inner Guidance System, see the article on this subject here.

Allow Yourself Time to Play

All of us can easily rhyme off a list of things we need to do, should do, have to do...but what if someone asked you what you want to do? Would your answer include one thing, or a few things?

That want to list is probably shorter but it rarely gets checked off. We put everything else ahead of what our soul wants to do. So instead of feeding our soul, we suppress it and essentially tell ourselves we're not allowed to do what we want until...

Well, that's no way to live. What if until never comes? What if today was your last alive? Even without getting that dramatic, at the end of the day are you satisfied or do you experience regrets? Do you wish you would have just...?

I know there have been many days, I've been guilty of these types of regrets. But, life is too short, and it's meant to be about the journey, about meeting new people, making new friends, feeding your soul. Follow wherever the prodding takes you. Stop making excuses for not doing them. 

Feed your soul first, follow your truth, and the rest will fall into place. In fact, if you take the time to do what you want to do, I bet you'll accomplish even more of the have to-do list. You'll be invigorated and recharged to face these responsibilities.

I have promised myself to do just this, and so far, I'm a much happier and fulfilled person. I'm also going to reserve every weekend just for "play" whether that be going out with friends or reading in my backyard, basically whatever moves me in the moment. I promise to enjoy life more "outside of the box," meaning my computer and take time out for my soul.

The Power of Dreams

I’m not talking about the dreams in reference to our aspirations and what we want to get out of life. I’m not talking about whimsical daydreaming. Today when I say dreams, I mean just that—the kind we have once our head hits the pillow and we fall into a deep sleep.

During the last couple years, they’ve helped me to work through my feelings. Sometimes emotions come to light that I never even realized I had.

Do you believe in the power of dreams?

I believe it’s definitely the way our mind processes and manages all the different thoughts fired throughout the day. The ones that go deeper, it assimilates and tries to make sense out of them.

This is truly a vast subject if we get into the more complex side of dreaming, the fact that imagery represents different things. If you’ve ever Googled a strange scene or incident in a dream, you’ve likely come to realize, like I have, the interpretation is right on and carries personal meaning.

Dreams don’t always have to be in imagery, though. Quite often we are faced with the situation troubling us, or the people that may stand between us and our truth (for example). If you pay attention to your dreams, you can be realigned on your path, find forgiveness, and gain insight.

So instead of fearing what you might dream about when you close your eyes, remember you’ll be in touch with your unconscious and as we evolve as human beings, that’s exactly where we want to be.

The Power of Visualization, Manifested -- A True Story

As a teenager, I wanted to write a full-length novel. I was so serious about it that I even wrote Harlequin for their submission guidelines. To this day, I still remember hunkering down in the basement reading them over. 

Little did I realize at the time, it wouldn't be until over 13 years later that I would finish writing my first novel. Forwarding to the future a few more years, I am now a published author of 12 titles with more written at various stages of editing. 

But, there were a few things that were ingrained in me, a couple of which I saw clearly—I would have a book signing at a Chapters store and have my books on the shelf there. There wasn't a question of whether it would happen, but when. 

I'm excited to say that these visualizations have manifested in the last 7 months! I was even interviewed on a local TV show!

Looking back, I know that these realities were set in motion by the visualizations of a teenage girl—a girl who had no idea how powerful thoughts are. But the universe still listened!

It has reaffirmed that all things are possible, and that the universe listens even when you might not realize it. I'm excited to see what more my future holds in store.

 —Carolyn Arnold

YOU ARE Important

Do you equate importance with money and fame? Do you measure your self-worth based on your physical appearance?

If so, you need to dig much deeper to find your true value. True value comes from your heart, soul, mind—spirit. You are a powerful, sentient being who rises above what this world uses as a measuring stick for success and importance.

What makes YOU important? First, know that you were the moment you were given life. You are unique, no one talks like you, looks like you, thinks like you. And, most certainly, no one can live your life for you. That fact alone makes you important.

Repeat this truth and make it your heartfelt belief—YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND.

Think about that for a moment. One of a kind artifacts are rare, but they are also priceless. There isn’t a monetary value you can attach to them. How much more so is this true when it comes to you—a living being!

Why is it so often that as humans we base level of importance on financial success? Maybe it’s because we’ve been hurt, or we’re low. We can use money, or success, to hide behind, to derive comfort from. If we’re absorbed with chasing a buck, there isn’t time to reflect and ‘be.’

Think of Linus (from Charlie Brown) walking around with his blanket all the time. Metaphorically, is that how you picture yourself when it comes to your thoughts on self-worth? Do you shrink back and find ‘escape’ through distorted perceptions your importance? Do you medicate with alcohol or drugs to avoid true reflection? 

Just remember this: If all you had was yourself in this world, you would still be important!

Letting Go

One of the hardest things in this life is the balancing of priorities with our dreams and desires. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can let go and allow ourselves to be. We are ultimately the sole deciding factor in life’s equation. 

Yes, there are times when things happen in our lives outside our control. We feel pulled this way and that, like we are a piece of fabric blowing in the wind, but what if our life lesson in this moment is to learn to let go? To go with the flow? To follow the prodding of our heart and soul?

There will be many excuses, maybe even valid obligations that prevent you from doing what would ultimately feed your soul, but you have to take advantage of the nudges you feel to follow your soul’s path. This is for your healing, your discovery, your ultimate wellbeing.

You know what? It’s okay to surrender, it’s okay to drop things and go off last minute if you are following a direction the Universe is pointing you in. When you do, this is when miracles happen. You uncover your truth, your purpose, your divine path—and you’re the only one that can live yours for you.

Embrace your inner beauty, your magnetic draw to a place, person, thing, or hobby. You are being pulled to your destination for a goal. You might not even know what that is, but trust me, it will be made known in time.

I follow my own advice. I’m writing this article from my sister’s great room, what she has labeled her healing room. I do give it that ability. The energy and the beautiful surroundings, the wind singing in the trees resonates through every fiber in my being, lifting me up to a more spiritual plane of existence.  And I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for following an inner nudge. You see, going back 48 hours I didn’t even know I would be here. I booked train tickets last minute to come down, but I had been mentioning coming here for weeks. It built up inside me to the point where I could no longer ignore the prompting of the Universe.

Now, I’m here? I know that it was my purpose at this point in my life. It reminded both myself and my sister that, you know what, it’s okay to slow down a bit, take life as it comes, exist in the now. This is my first morning waking up here and it’s not even noon and I’ve experienced enlightenment and healing.

I feel completely blessed that I am even but a visitor, and welcome guest in her home and to her property. Nature holds the key to healing, to taking the blur of our lives and slowing it down to a frame-by-frame snapshot. You don’t always get that ability in the city. There’s the hurried pace of making a living, traffic, and distraction with media. Yet, with this said, even when surrounded by the beauty of nature, one can allow themselves to become deviated from their course if they are not careful.  We all need to remember to breathe, to follow our inner nudges. Trust me, even from this experience so far, this getaway is exactly what my soul needed.

Building Confidence from the Inside Out!

If I asked you to name off ten things you don't like about yourself, how long would it take to complete the list?  Depending on where you on with your journey, it may be seconds, or might still be looking at me and still have a blank page minutes later.

But take heart! If you jotted down a bunch of negative things off the hop, don't worry! You are perfect! You are beautiful! And you're reading the right post!

As part of my exploration I wrote down a few items that I didn't like about myself. I realized as I analyzed them there wasn't one thing on the list that I couldn't change. My largest item on that list (in fact the only thing I even remember now) was my weight. See I used to be a skinny little thing but I allowed stress of life and depression to sway my self-worth. I gained weight.  But does the scale define who I am?  Absolutely not!

Maybe your list includes things that are not easily changed. You have freckles and you hate them, or you have a slit limp when you walk. So what? Really, what does it matter over all? In fact these things that you dislike give you character and add uniqueness. They make you, you, and that's the best person you can be!

So how do you go from hating (or disliking) things about yourself to loving and accepting yourself as you are? Immediately stop the negative self-talk! Don't comment, even to family, friends, or coworkers about this characteristic you dislike about yourself. Each time you say things like this your brain, your soul, hears that it is in insignificant in some way, that you are less than worthy. It effects your feelings of self-worth and distorts your image of self.

For me, I found the foremost thing that helped was shutting down this negative commentary. I realized I am loved, that I am beautiful no matter what form or shape I'm currently in. I don't see myself as overweight or fat (what a horrible word!). I see myself as beautiful.

It's even easier to see the transformation as I look back--how I went from feeling the extra weight--to just 'being', loving and accepting of myself. I used to make comments about 'oh when I was lighter', or 'when I was in better shape,' and I know there are a bunch I am forgetting. If you're going through trying to lose weight, you can empathize with the feelings of 'when I lose weight.' This thinking tells you that you don't deserve happiness 'until.' No, you deserve happiness now!

Why not run this experiment yourself, focusing on your energy shift? Say a negative comment about yourself.  Feel that pull you down? Now say something positive and loving, believe it. Experience the lift of emotion--that's your shining soul dying to break through! Reach for it and pull it out. :)

Gratitude - Unlock Your Dreams

Gratitude has been referred to as 'magic.' Here's a question, do you believe in magic?

As a kid you likely had faith in the existence of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, elves, and so on. As an adult, you believe in two certainties--death and taxes.

Wow! Somewhere along the way we lost the spark of living. How can we get it back?  In one word--gratitude.

But is the concept of gratitude as easy as it might sound? It is, but it needs to be sincere, it needs to carry deep feeling behind it. Just as saying 'I love you' to someone means nothing without a demonstration of this emotion. Or we thank someone for a gift but then toss it aside. Does that give the impression we're grateful for what we received?

Well, when it comes to the law of attraction, it is important that we are truly grateful for the good we already have in life. However, what is at the root of this gratitude? Is it simply a monotone gesture to the universe, 'oh yeah, thanks' or is it a resounding, 'Wow! Thank you!'

It's important that we resonate with the latter scenario. By making a list of things we are thankful for every day, we shift our thinking to the positive, toward what we want in life. We begin to attract more of this into our life.

You Have Blue Hair

If I told you that you have blue hair, how would you respond? Would you start to see hues of blue in your blonde? Would you second-guess your hair color? Or would you more likely emphatically tell me I’m color blind?

Unless you literally do have blue hair (which is possible) you would likely tell me I’m crazy.

Well, then, why is it when we’re hurting we allow what people say to affect us, to warp our sense of self, to redefine who we are?

Unfortunately, when we’re hurting all of the negative floods our thinking. We don’t think it’s possible to see through the pessimistic haze. I’m here to give you hope. You can. In fact you can do anything you put your mind to. Of course, you can’t fly by flapping your arms, so I guess we do have some limitations, but not many.

Think of it this way. When you’re sad, hurt, angry, or experiencing any emotions that tear you down, what is really affected? If you answered your ego, you are correct.  So to feel better, we have to separate ourselves from our ego, or image of self.

How can we do that? Live in the now. In other words, find peace in a tranquil state. If you meditate, meditate. If you just allow yourself to ‘be’, do that.

See, when we go still, we allow the other things to wash away. We realize that actions by others, the emotions we’re feeling, they don’t define us. We acknowledge that we’re greater than what we’re undergoing.

You can also use past experience to help you heal. Refer to your journal (if you haven’t started one, it’s a great aid) and recognize if you’ve been through similar situations. Think about how you handled it and moved forward. What would you do differently? If the same scenarios keep coming up in your life, you may be attracting them to you. What can you do to change this? Think about it. Analyze it.

In your journey to self-discovery you’ve likely uncovered things that make you happy. Take the time to immerse yourself in these activities. (See the post, Remembering to Play.) If the negative comments of others, or even self-talk, natter away at you, release them from your body. 

There have been times I’ve actually ‘swept’ my arms out from my body while saying “I release the negative’’ followed by a deep breath in and the words “I embrace the positive.” I discovered this mantra on my own and it proved to be very helpful for me. You always know it is what you need when energy tremors through you.

Another useful tool is to read positive feedback or comments you may have received. As an author this has been favorable reviews, emails from readers, comments in-person, but it can also be something like a photograph that spurs a happy memory.

Just remember this, if someone tells you that your hair is blue and it is clearly blonde, laugh and move on--SHINE! :D

Do You Want to Be Somebody?

Do look to another point in time to define you.

How often have you heard people talk animatedly about their future--what they’re going to do, what they’re going to have, who they’re going to be?  Isn’t it true if you listen, most of us have been guilty of talking about the future as if it’s already here?

Now, while it’s great to have goals, to have a vision of what you want, remember that possessions and wealth, and other so called “successes” in life, don’t define who you are.

It’s dangerous if we allow ourselves to think, ‘oh, I’ll really be somebody when.’ I have terrific news for you.  You already are somebody and you’re great! In fact, you are perfect. You are where you need to be at this point in your life.  Of course it’s harder to accept this when we’re undergoing trying or hurtful periods in our life, maybe you’ve recently lost your job for example.

If this describes your situation, maybe you now have the opportunity to go into business for yourself? Maybe you’re going to turn a hobby into a way to make living? The possibilities are endless if you open yourself up to them.

No matter what, turn what initially strikes you as a negative occurrence and flip it on its head.

See, the thing is, when you start saying, or even thinking, that you won’t be ‘somebody’ or a success until... you create a belief system within yourself.  This belief has limiting affects on your self-worth and your potential.  By attributing success and happiness to an envisioned future event, you’re losing out on the now.

Think of it this way, how many times have you said in your life ‘time flies’ or ‘I can’t believe it’s already the end of another month.’ On the flip-side, how many times do you hear yourself say ‘I can’t wait until the weekend.’

Stop.

Breathe in the now.

Embrace who you are as a powerful being.

Always remember YOU ARE SOMEBODY--NOW.

Keep shining!

The Power of Words

We’re familiar with the fact that we can control the outcome to most situations.* Even if we’re not in direct control, we have the choice to react how we want. These reactions, in turn, create new outcomes. While it would be completely exhausting and tiring to analyze every single event in our life, breaking it down, and deciding how to respond, if we want to reach a desired outcome we have to give it attention. We have to give it thought.

So often in the world around us, people act without thinking. They speak or take action with little, or no, thought about its affect on other people. Many reason ‘well they can take it however they like.’  However, what sort of attitude is that?

If you are on a new course of enlightenment, of self-discovery, your aim will never be guided by malicious or selfish intention. You appreciate how precious life is and how every person is due a level of respect. We are, after all, sentient beings not to be labeled by transitory terms of description.

There are, however, times when we find ourselves in a situation which is the outcome of something we’ve created in our past. This may not even be an action or something we said on purpose. Maybe it was never intended to hurt this other person but they have built the ‘event’ in their minds and are so wounded by it that they lash out at us. This creates new pain for us. How can we can deal with this?

One, remember that you are not perfect. (Yes, I know I’m going against all modern philosophy on this matter.) But no one is in control of their thoughts, their words, their actions 100% of the time. It would be impossible.  There are times we in the heat of a moment and respond birthed from emotion. We’re not thinking logically in these moments.  When our guard slips, this is when we can hurt others unintentionally.

However, the times when we are under pressure is when we need to focus. These moments, the ones where we’re affected the most emotionally, are the times we need to analyze the outcome.

Words have the ability to strike the heart and deflate ambitions, cause depression, and in extreme cases bullying with words (and/or action) have led some to commit suicide.  Needless to say we would never want to be a contributing factor to someone taking their life!

What if you find out you hurt someone by your words or actions? Approach them with the goal of peacefully resolving the issue that spurned the response. Apologize.

What if you think you hurt someone? What does it hurt to approach them? Reach out to them. Show interest in them. In fact, I’m going to put this out there in a media forum and apologize to any that I have hurt in my life as this was never my intention.

What if you’ve been hurt by someone? Remember we are all imperfect. You can be certain that you’ve hurt someone along the way. Focus on the positive aspects of your life, giving gratitude for these things. Another useful tool might be to consider the person’s mind frame when they responded. Also put yourself back before the hurt, remember the good this person brought to your life, maybe they helped you with something or through a situation.

If you are working through a healing journey, you will find that the positive things take longer to come to you. You might even give precedence to the negative. You may even start believing things about yourself that are outright lies, but I’ll talk more about this in next Thursday’s post: You Have Blue Hair.

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*See the post E+R=O