Tuesday, November 19, 2013

It's Okay to Feel

Now that I’ve started down this path of sharing my experience, there’s a part of me that knows some of you have undergone such ordeals in your life, that I feel mine pales by comparison. But I've told myself not to feel this way. Anything that affects me so deeply that my emotions and life course are altered due to it, I have the right to experience and express these feelings. And thereby, others who are going through life-changing experiences can (hopefully) be inspired and realize that what they are going through is completely normal.

There’s a certain level of shame that comes with admitting heartbreak, a stigmatism we’ve tattooed on the emotion. As if by feeling, we’re weak.

That’s far from the truth. In fact, I assure you that is quite the opposite of the truth.

I do not have a PHD, or some fancy background in psychology, I am just your “girl next door”, but I’m sharing the emotions and the cycles I’m working through to hopefully help others struggling through ordeals in their lives.

I believe the first step is admission that you have a right to feel. You might reason, ‘The world doesn’t want to hear my problems. They just want to hear about when I’m happy and have excitement to spread.’

This, in my opinion, is one fault of the modern world. It breeds in those who are depressed that they should retreat and isolate themselves until they are ‘feeling better’. It provides fuel to a volatile situation because we cannot heal in darkness.

Now, I realize that it’s a proven fact that positive energy attracts, but you have the right to feel the way you are. Acknowledge that you have the right to take things how you emotionally respond, regardless of how others may feel about your reaction.

No one person on this planet is happy all the time. Remember that.

You’ll have people, I have no doubt, who may look on your situation and say “get it together”, “why are you so emotional”, “will you stop crying”.

Sometimes these voices even come from within. They can originate from ‘programming’ through our childhood.

Here’s a good question, why are we trying to silence our emotions when they are trying to tell us something is wrong?

If you were sick with a fever, would you dismiss the symptoms—the lightheartedness, the dizziness, and the fact that an untreated fever can hurt you long-term? Or would you seek medical help?

The answer is obvious. You would seek medical treatment.

So, why when your heart, mind, and soul are telling you ‘something is out of whack here’, ‘I’m hurting’, ‘I feel lost’, do you ignore it?

Did you know that if you bury these feelings of hurt, that they are never going to leave your system? You are laying the foundation for future stress-related illness, whether you may realize it or not.

How can you progress in your healing journey? Here are a few things:

1) Write down what you are grateful for every day. It doesn’t have to be grandiose things. Maybe a stranger smiled at you, a baby giggled, someone held the door open for you or brought you a coffee. Be grateful for life and every aspect of it, no matter how minute. When dwelling on what we are thankful for, the negative emotions are tampered down.

I’ll help you with this one. I’ve added gratitude post to the “I am a Shining Soul” Facebook page with a quick link to it on the right-hand sidebar. Share what you're grateful for. You can do it throughout the day, once a day,  or however many times you feel inclined. By sharing with the community, you’ll also help lift up others.

2) Record your feelings in a journal. Like me initially, you might not think you need to do this, but it is helpful.

3) Think of others and help them. It is said that the best way to help ourselves is to help others. We need each other. Our energies combine to make the world what it is. Are we contributing to a positive society? This is something that will take more time because when we’re low, we retreat and desire to isolate ourselves.

4) Remain encouraged. If you have a light inside, no matter how faint, that is telling you that you have the right to be you then you are on the right path.

Closing thoughts:

Most of us are familiar with Superman and Kryptonite. View positive feelings, emotions, and energy as the ultimate Kryptonite against negative feelings, emotions and energy.

-- Carolyn Arnold


Thank you for your comment and contribution.