Releasing What No Longer Serves Us

Just before the buds were forming, I took time and really noticed the trees – seemingly bare with many shades of grey as the light reflected off them; standing tall, reaching toward the sun.  As I looked more closely, I observed some dried leaves from autumn that were still clinging to some of the branches.  The dried leaves were few and although one tree had five or six, another, one or two, the next had none.  I pondered the thought of the old-fashioned winter we just experienced and wondered how in the world these dried, dead leaves were able to hang on.

Next, the idea of us came to my mind.  How we too can hang onto things from the past that no longer serve us.  They may no longer have a purpose and serve us, yet we allow them to hang on.  Our dried leaves may be beliefs, stories, disempowering feelings, trapped emotions and more. 

Just like the trees, when the season changes, new growth bursts forth from within us; however, unlike the trees, we are still affected by these things that hang on and refuse to be released.  These things may not always be obvious to us and we may even think we let them go.  Meanwhile, they are running in the background in our subconscious mind. 

Like software running in our computer, they affect our performance.  When our computer is not working to its full potential, we may run a scan, defrag, troubleshoot, ask for guidance, and discover helpful tips to remedy the situation.  So what do we do for us?  How do we uncover the things that no longer serve us and release them, so we can live more in line with our full potential?

This is the journey.  This is the path we are on.  Just as the things that no longer serve us were left behind year after year, the journey of releasing them, takes time.  We are in the process of learning how to release them fully.  

Many articles here on I’m a Shining Soul have shared tools of self-discovery and healing.  As well, there are many ways yet to be discovered. 

Healing the past and releasing all that no longer serves us takes time, focus and effort, but it is so worth it!  As we release what no longer serves us, leaf by leaf, our soul shines ever more brightly!

~ Sherry Buikema

YOU ARE Important

Do you equate importance with money and fame? Do you measure your self-worth based on your physical appearance?

If so, you need to dig much deeper to find your true value. True value comes from your heart, soul, mind—spirit. You are a powerful, sentient being who rises above what this world uses as a measuring stick for success and importance.

What makes YOU important? First, know that you were the moment you were given life. You are unique, no one talks like you, looks like you, thinks like you. And, most certainly, no one can live your life for you. That fact alone makes you important.

Repeat this truth and make it your heartfelt belief—YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND.

Think about that for a moment. One of a kind artifacts are rare, but they are also priceless. There isn’t a monetary value you can attach to them. How much more so is this true when it comes to you—a living being!

Why is it so often that as humans we base level of importance on financial success? Maybe it’s because we’ve been hurt, or we’re low. We can use money, or success, to hide behind, to derive comfort from. If we’re absorbed with chasing a buck, there isn’t time to reflect and ‘be.’

Think of Linus (from Charlie Brown) walking around with his blanket all the time. Metaphorically, is that how you picture yourself when it comes to your thoughts on self-worth? Do you shrink back and find ‘escape’ through distorted perceptions your importance? Do you medicate with alcohol or drugs to avoid true reflection? 

Just remember this: If all you had was yourself in this world, you would still be important!

How Can I?

Along the way we meet many friends that teach us a great deal.  I often re-remember a teaching of my good friend and life/career coach, Brian.  I remember one occasion I said to him about an upcoming event, “I can’t come.”  He said back to me, “If you want to, why not ask, how can I?” 

Quite often we will make a blanket statement about our situation, feelings, etc. to ourselves and others.  With a statement, our minds are closed with no room for other possibilities.   It is a fact, a done deal, so-to-speak.  But what if there is something we truly want, should we give up on it so quickly?

As in the above example, we want to go and have fun with a group of friends and our responsibilities on the surface, seem to be stopping us.  Asking the question, “How can I?” opens up the possibilities.  Our brain has been given a task, a problem to solve.  It is very good at it!  Suddenly, it gives us all kinds of ideas on how to make something happen.

In the context of grieving over a loss in our life, we have talked in detail about honoring the grieving process.  With understanding, compassion, self-love, and gently allowing ourselves to experience the steps we need to go through.  All of this is very important, with each person taking the time they need.  Eventually, we begin to notice that we no longer want to feel this way.  We recognize that this event can no longer be a determining factor of our happiness.  We are ready to move forward. 

For a long time we may even say, if only to ourselves, “I can’t let that go!”  Then one day, when we are ready, we will ask ourselves “How can I?”  Look out because when we ask this question, our whole life begins to change!  Our mind responds with ideas, people around us speak randomly about tools and tips; teachers, books, radio, television, internet articles and more come into our awareness with great speed and ease!

The question “How can I?” can be applied to every aspect of our life.  The question has the power to orchestrate the world around us, bringing us the people and resources we need to reach our goal.  It is as if the people and things around us are puppets on a string, waiting to come into our path at just the right moment.

All we did is change our mind, moving from a closed stand on the subject, to being open to possibilities; possibilities for growth, self-discovery and healing on all levels.  By opening to these new ways, we begin to lovingly take back our power; the power to create our life with more joy than we could have imagined.

When we recognize that this has happened many times in our life already and will continue to happen with grace and ease, our heart overflows with gratitude for the masterpiece that is our life!

~ Sherry Buikema

Letting Go

One of the hardest things in this life is the balancing of priorities with our dreams and desires. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can let go and allow ourselves to be. We are ultimately the sole deciding factor in life’s equation. 

Yes, there are times when things happen in our lives outside our control. We feel pulled this way and that, like we are a piece of fabric blowing in the wind, but what if our life lesson in this moment is to learn to let go? To go with the flow? To follow the prodding of our heart and soul?

There will be many excuses, maybe even valid obligations that prevent you from doing what would ultimately feed your soul, but you have to take advantage of the nudges you feel to follow your soul’s path. This is for your healing, your discovery, your ultimate wellbeing.

You know what? It’s okay to surrender, it’s okay to drop things and go off last minute if you are following a direction the Universe is pointing you in. When you do, this is when miracles happen. You uncover your truth, your purpose, your divine path—and you’re the only one that can live yours for you.

Embrace your inner beauty, your magnetic draw to a place, person, thing, or hobby. You are being pulled to your destination for a goal. You might not even know what that is, but trust me, it will be made known in time.

I follow my own advice. I’m writing this article from my sister’s great room, what she has labeled her healing room. I do give it that ability. The energy and the beautiful surroundings, the wind singing in the trees resonates through every fiber in my being, lifting me up to a more spiritual plane of existence.  And I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for following an inner nudge. You see, going back 48 hours I didn’t even know I would be here. I booked train tickets last minute to come down, but I had been mentioning coming here for weeks. It built up inside me to the point where I could no longer ignore the prompting of the Universe.

Now, I’m here? I know that it was my purpose at this point in my life. It reminded both myself and my sister that, you know what, it’s okay to slow down a bit, take life as it comes, exist in the now. This is my first morning waking up here and it’s not even noon and I’ve experienced enlightenment and healing.

I feel completely blessed that I am even but a visitor, and welcome guest in her home and to her property. Nature holds the key to healing, to taking the blur of our lives and slowing it down to a frame-by-frame snapshot. You don’t always get that ability in the city. There’s the hurried pace of making a living, traffic, and distraction with media. Yet, with this said, even when surrounded by the beauty of nature, one can allow themselves to become deviated from their course if they are not careful.  We all need to remember to breathe, to follow our inner nudges. Trust me, even from this experience so far, this getaway is exactly what my soul needed.

E+R=O

On our path we encounter many teachers by way of friends, family and authors.  Through books, CDs, DVDs and seminars we can learn many helpful things.

One of the many teachers that have impacted us is Jack Canfield, co-creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul.  My husband and I have really benefited from his audios on personal growth.  We even went to one of his seminars in Toronto. 

Although we learned many things from Jack, there is one tool he shared that impressed upon me the power we have to make a choice. This tool is in the form of an equation, E+R=O.

E stands for Event – This could be anything from a loss, as we have been discussing, to an everyday event we may encounter.

  To name a few examples—someone cuts you off in traffic, someone says something hurtful, a family member does something inconsiderate, something breaks down and the list goes on.

R stands for Response -- Typically, when these things happen, we React to them, but what if we were to choose a response instead?

O stands for Outcome – Our responses will in turn bring us an outcome.

So here you have it:

E                      +                      R                     =                      O

Event               +                     Response         =                     Outcome

Another way to look at this equation is to ask “How would I like things to turn out?” By thinking of our “desired outcome” first, we can then choose an appropriate response. 

Basically, we are changing the equation, (like we used to do in math) to:

Event               -                       Outcome         =                      Response

If we simply react, we may end up further away from our desired outcome.  By giving conscious thought to the outcome we would like to see, we can choose the response that is more apt to get us there.

In this way, we are not allowing the event to evoke a reaction.  We are taking back our power, the power to choose!

~ Sherry Buikema