When a relationship breaks up, and you’re hurting, it’s natural to wonder if the other person is feeling the same way. But what does it matter?
If you think about it, it’s your ego behind this thinking. After all, you really don’t need to be justified for having the emotions you have. You will feel the way you’re going to regardless of the other person’s response to the severed relationship—and you have this right. It’s almost as if we also seek permission to have the emotions. We must accept them as is.
See, there’s no problem with having these thoughts, but when we give them power, it drains our energy—for no good reason. We give life to “the pain-body” as Eckhart Tolle describes it. We begin to let ourselves become defined by it, assigning it control over our life, instead of the other way around.
Maybe you’re having a hard time separating yourself from the emotions you’re experiencing from what your brain tells you that you should be feeling. However, if we deny how we’re feeling, then we will never deal with this negative energy, heal, and move on.
Here’s advice I received from my sister Sherry. It is called Sedona Method.
The abbreviated version is the understanding that our feelings are not a part of us. Like a pen in our hand, we can grasp it tightly, like it is ours! However, we can also unroll our fingers and let the pen slide off and fall away.
This is how it works AND it’s important not to rush it.
1. Sit with the feeling, whatever it is. Close your eyes and feel what you are feeling. As best you can accept the feeling, allow it to be. Feel the feeling of allowing it.
2. Ask yourself: Could I let it go?
Remember that like the pen you could, say YES
3. Ask yourself: Would I let it go?
Answer as you see fit... YES or NO works!
4. Ask yourself: When?
5. Next notice.... go back to the original feelings you were experiencing, has something changed about them, do they seem lessened in some way?
6. Next sit with the residue, feel the feeling, allow and repeat the steps 2-5. Doing this as many times as you need.