One of the easiest things to forget when you’re hurting is that you DO matter. Heartbreak is an evil temptress who whispers out to all your inadequacies and shortcomings. It would have you convinced that you have no purpose, that you’ve accomplished nothing with your life so far and you never will.
Something that could be used for a positive purpose, that of analyzing one’s goals and accomplishments, is stained with heartbreak and twisted to negative conclusions.
Everyone sets out on their own journey. We all have our joys and heartbreaks, we all look and think differently, so it’s logical to conclude that we handle situations uniquely. However, with that said, we’re not so different from others as we might think.
If someone in your life mentioned that they felt worthless, how would you respond? Likely you would go into listing off all their wonderful attributes and how the world wouldn't be the same without them. So why, when you’re feeling that you don’t matter, do you just slip into a shell, as it were, and retreat from the world?
Easy answer is you’re erecting a wall around yourself. You think that by doing so you will be sheltered from hurt, that you will be able to will away your feelings into nothingness.
Well, we’ve mentioned getting help if we are sick in a prior post. If you had pneumonia and just curled up in bed without getting medication, would you heal? Unlikely. In fact, a curable illness could become life threatening.
So before we allow our pain to diminish our strength, health, and zest for life, let’s realize all that we do have a lot to live for!
A helpful exercise I did actually consisted of two things. One was writing down one or two things that you would like to improve about yourself. Now, you might be wondering why I’d encourage this. I wondered the same thing when I read this advice elsewhere, but you know what? I realized there really isn’t much that I don’t like about myself. It turns out I’m not that bad. lol
Anyway, you take a look at those items and analyze them. Why don’t you like that about yourself? What can you do to change it?
For example, I’ll share mine with you. I’ve gained quite a bit of weight over the last few years, and because of this it can make me uncomfortable and I feel it holds me back from doing things I would have otherwise.
Now, is being overweight the end of the world? Absolutely not! It is controllable. Only I have the ability to turn things around. So in my case, how? Well, I know I love exercise and I love eating fish. Well, simple solution right there. Exercise regularly, eat more fish. Just with those two simple things, but by acting on them, I’ll be on my way to reaching my goal of gaining confidence and energy.
Maybe you’re thinking that your negatives can’t be overcome. I’m pretty certain most of them could be. If we put our mind to something we can achieve near anything. But what if you can’t overcome a negative aspect about yourself? Really analyze and realize how that actually makes you unique. Realize that you have a lot of positive aspects going on.
This is where the second part of this exercise comes into play: Write down 10 things you love about yourself.
Sound easy? I thought it would be but it took me time to pick my 10. It could be anything from the fact you like the freckles on your nose, a talent you have, a characteristic you have. Are you hardworking? Do you look for the positive in others? The list goes on.
By the time you’re finished analyzing how wonderful you really are you’ll be saying “I DO matter!”