Friday, November 29, 2013

Who AM I?

When we experience a significant loss in our life we might say “I AM hurt, I AM angry, I AM disappointed” and so on.  This is the typical way we express our feelings, like they define who we are.  However, is it the truth? Are we these things?

The words “I am” are very powerful!  Anything that follows “I am” denotes a strong belief and conviction, as a statement of who we are -- we hold to it, as if it was the truth about us, like we own it.

As we have discussed, our feelings are there for us, to get us to slow down our hectic schedules long enough to hear their message. A wonderful tool to use when we are acknowledging and listening to our feelings is to write in a journal.  I have found it very helpful to use the words “I feel” followed by the feeling such as, “I feel hurt, I feel angry, I feel disappointed.”  (Do you feel the difference? J)

By doing this, we place a little distance between ourselves and our feelings to allow for observation and perspective.  When we step back and observe our feelings this way, a glimmer of hope and self-empowerment stirs within us.  We no longer own it and now have the freedom to change the feelings if we want to.

Each experience we have in life is an opportunity for us to create who we are in response to it. So rather than defining ourselves by our feelings when we experience a loss, what if we asked, “Who am I now?” When responding, we can begin with “I am the one who….”

Before long we will remember “I am a shining soul.”

~ Sherry Buikema


  1. Great advice…I should have read this last night, it might have helped me. I will practice this for sure. Last night I wrote an email to my sister with the "I am sad" sentence - missing my family and feeling sorry for myself. In reviewing my words, I might have slept better if I had said "I feel sad"…definitely less defining. Thanks.

    1. I am happy to hear that sharing things I have learned is helping others. Thank you for your feedback on how this article benefited you.


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