If I told you that you have blue hair, how would you respond? Would you start to see hues of blue in your blonde? Would you second-guess your hair color? Or would you more likely emphatically tell me I’m color blind?
Unless you literally do have blue hair (which is possible) you would likely tell me I’m crazy.
Well, then, why is it when we’re hurting we allow what people say to affect us, to warp our sense of self, to redefine who we are?
Unfortunately, when we’re hurting all of the negative floods our thinking. We don’t think it’s possible to see through the pessimistic haze. I’m here to give you hope. You can. In fact you can do anything you put your mind to. Of course, you can’t fly by flapping your arms, so I guess we do have some limitations, but not many.
Think of it this way. When you’re sad, hurt, angry, or experiencing any emotions that tear you down, what is really affected? If you answered your ego, you are correct. So to feel better, we have to separate ourselves from our ego, or image of self.
How can we do that? Live in the now. In other words, find peace in a tranquil state. If you meditate, meditate. If you just allow yourself to ‘be’, do that.
See, when we go still, we allow the other things to wash away. We realize that actions by others, the emotions we’re feeling, they don’t define us. We acknowledge that we’re greater than what we’re undergoing.
You can also use past experience to help you heal. Refer to your journal (if you haven’t started one, it’s a great aid) and recognize if you’ve been through similar situations. Think about how you handled it and moved forward. What would you do differently? If the same scenarios keep coming up in your life, you may be attracting them to you. What can you do to change this? Think about it. Analyze it.
In your journey to self-discovery you’ve likely uncovered things that make you happy. Take the time to immerse yourself in these activities. (See the post, Remembering to Play.) If the negative comments of others, or even self-talk, natter away at you, release them from your body.
There have been times I’ve actually ‘swept’ my arms out from my body while saying “I release the negative’’ followed by a deep breath in and the words “I embrace the positive.” I discovered this mantra on my own and it proved to be very helpful for me. You always know it is what you need when energy tremors through you.
Another useful tool is to read positive feedback or comments you may have received. As an author this has been favorable reviews, emails from readers, comments in-person, but it can also be something like a photograph that spurs a happy memory.
Just remember this, if someone tells you that your hair is blue and it is clearly blonde, laugh and move on--SHINE! :D